We can all feel inadequate at some point in our lives, but if this is a common feeling then here are some tried and tested ways to overcome it and start feeling better about yourself.
List out some of your recent failures or mistakes.
And for each one find a lesson, a benefit or a positive outcome from each one. This begins to show you that failure is nothing to be feared, but something to embrace and personally grow from. Every seeming mistake we’ve ever made was done at the time with the best intentions and with the information known at the time. Yes, with hindsight you might do things differently, but isn’t that just life experience? Every experience is there to enable us to grow wiser, we just have to look for the lesson and change as consequence. That’s how you build your confidence over time.
Speak to someone you trust.
Often when we verbalise what’s happened it gives us perspective and enables us to see the ‘problem’ isn’t really as catastrophic as we envisaged in our head and we can begin to rationalise it by seeing we were doing our best at the time. Speaking with someone you trust can really help you formulate a more objective picture of what’s going on for you and enable you to formulate a plan of action to change your inner dialogue as well as take the right kind of action that’s going to enhance our confidence and self-belief.
Challenge your thoughts.
Is it really true that you’re a failure? Look for opposing examples and reasons why you’re not. Just because you made a mistake or didn’t get something right this time, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Instead, list out where you are a success in your life. List out your qualities. Show yourself it’s not what you do that determines your success but who you are as a person and how you feel inside.
Our thoughts are not reality, they’re just thoughts and we can change them whenever we wish. If you recognise your thought-stream makes you feel down, limited, suppressed, then actively choose to think thoughts that feel empowering and exciting. Failing that (because we can spend so much time in our heads), go and do something. Go for a walk, dance to your favourite music, cook a delicious meal, read a great book, head to the gym – do anything that shifts your perspective and moves your energy into a higher vibe state.
Comparison is the enemy of self-esteem.
Comparing yourself to others is a futile exercise because we are all different, we all have a different background, values, qualities, interests, knowledge etc. Comparing yourself is like a great oak tree feeling inadequate because it doesn’t produce beautiful, fragrant blooms like a rose. Stop the comparison, start working on valuing yourself for who you are already.
You might also reflect on where your comparison-issues are triggered the most. Social media is a classic environment for stirring up feelings of inadequacy – consider limiting your time on social media or unfollowing people you get triggered by.
Not feeling good enough is a classic symptom of Imposter Syndrome, so get your hands on my free toolkit and help bolster your inner confidence and self-worth even more with simple, practical exercises to try.
Further ways you can overcome Imposter Syndrome:
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